A Lesson Carried From Childhood

Obstacles test how badly you want something

3 tips for evaluating whether to keep with it

When I was 10 years-old I wanted to play American Football. I was anticipating the adrenaline rush of starting plays as the center snapping the ball back between my legs to the quarterback. He would then effortlessly move us down the field firing quick passes and dishing out handoffs to agile running backs, leading to touchdown after touchdown.

I imagined myself flattening defensive linemen and creating gaping holes for our running backs to blast through for momentum building gains.

But those experiences eluded me, just as I had imagined the running backs and wide receivers would elude oncoming tacklers. You see, before you can even step on the field for a game you need to be in “football shape” and I wasn’t. Not even close. Yet, that did not discourage me. I would not give up.

Being in football shape means to prepare oneself for the physical nature of the game. This includes lots of running. At each practice, we ran 2-3 km, we hit blocking dummies and coaches holding blocking bags, we ran obstacle courses and did agility exercises, all before we practiced a single play.

Needless to say, by the time we got to practice the good stuff, I was exhausted and my slow pace had become even slower. Heck, I think a turtle could have beaten me in a foot race. Defenders quickly, with what seemed like the nimbleness of ballet dancers, ran past me before I could even look up from snapping the ball.

When practice was finished, we ran one more lap around a field three times as big as any high school yard in Japan. I always finished in last place on these runs, and it wasn’t even close. The entire team waited at the finish line cheering me on not to quit. And every practice was the same.

On practice days, after I arrived home from school I would lay on my bed and cry about how hard this training was. But as it got closer to practice time I dried my tears and got ready for another round of torture. I couldn’t let go of the dream. Eventually however, I did. I gave up… This is a lesson I carried from childhood.

Fast Forward to Today

I continue to find joy in embracing the struggle, and here is why: Whenever you start something new, the gap between what you don’t know and what you DO know is vast.

At first the cavern seems overwhelming. Then… Little by little, one thing falls into place, and another, and another. Before you know it, you don’t suck any more. That is a great feeling.

During that stage of not being really good, it is evident you are making progress. It is in these times of creeping progress that it is easiest to find reasons to quit:

It’s too difficult. I don’t have time or some other priority came up. But have you really given yourself a chance to succeed? Here are three ways to evaluate whether to give up or go on.

1. Do You Enjoy It?

I know many guitar players who can only play a handful of songs despite many years of study and practice. One even joked that he has one song for each of his guitars.Yet these folks are happy playing those same songs over and over. For them that’s enough.

If you have accomplished the ability to enjoy what you do regardless of what the outside world considers mastery, then keep going.

2. Are you making progress?

I was a novice surfer for a couple of years. I really struggled to stand up, and only found a modest level of success on the biggest and most buoyant boards. Initially my expectations were modest: Catch a wave laying on the board, stand up one time, go out solo. However, try as I might in two years I did not make the kind of progress that led to anticipation of spending my time and money on the sport. When I did go out, I left the beach frustrated – Time to give up.

3. Are There other benefits to continuing?

There are a lot of reasons to start an activity, and this motivation is key to considering whether or not to continue. Maybe you are trying something new for the social aspects, perhaps you are cross training in one activity to improve another.You may not like running or getting on the elliptical machine, but if it improves your heart health, that is a good reason to continue. Wouldn’t you agree? Consider why you started in the first place, what are the residual benefits, and if there are other ways to achieve the same results.Then decide to quit or continue

Growth is painful

Growth is painful. Whether you are learning a physical activity like American Football, or a mental one like public speaking, you are not going to be good at the beginning . My friend Matt says, “you suck until you don’t.” I think that is a good measuring stick.

Embrace being bad at things. Eventually, you will be good and you might even become great – given enough time and effort.

This article initially appeared on medium.com.